seeing the light????

The last 10 days have been pretty much terrible around here. For the most part, i am a very positive person. I see the good in most situations, and even during tough times, I don't allow myself to really get pulled into feeling down or depressed. This last week has been an exception to the usual. It pretty much started during the trip to ohio, when I really needed the girls to be on their best behavior, and what i got was the opposite. I was totally overwhelmed trying to fulfill all the roles that were so important to me that week. To make things worse, I started right back into work less than 12 hours after landing in colorado. I think the combination of all the stressors (and in retrospect, the girls were both getting a terrible little virus) pretty much created the perfect storm for a serious mommy melt-down. I cried pretty much every day, starting with the fateful Awana's incident. Juneau continued to have destructive and beligerant behavior. She ended up sitting against the wall for most of her karate class, and at the end of class she was the only kid who didn't get a sticker on their forhead (for good behavior). I spent the days at work stressing about needing to be at home, and then i spent the evenings at home irritable and on edge for my terrible job parenting these girls. I accumulated a stack of parenting books last week (ranging from " The Connected Child" to "The Strong Willed Child"). I scoured the internet looking for tips, advice, and mostly empathy from parents in similar situations. I spent tons of time on the phone with my mom and my sister Becky, getting priceless advice from the "been there done that" family members. I cried to my husband, who did his very best to comfort and encourage me from 5000 miles away. In fact, on friday I burst into tears in front of my entire ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life support) refresher class, when on of the midwives made a totally unrelated comment about parenting. The most embarrassing of it all, was i began to frequent the Thrift Store, where i by far had the best behaved children in the whole place. In fact, after the first night we went there (to look for parenting books, haha!), The checkout lady complimented not only the girls' behavior, but my parenting skills!!!!!!! It was easy to feel good about myself when the store was filled with screaming and tantruming toddlers. In 2 days, when i was having another terrible evening with the girls, i loaded the whole gang up, and back to the thrift store we went...just to make me kinda feel like a good mom!!!

Anyway, all that long and drawn out description of my week to say....i think i see a tiny little light at the end of this deep and dark tunnel. I had an amazing weekend with the girls. Juneau's behavior has taken a serious turn in the right direction. She still has some frustrating behaviors (the one that bothers me the most is her 1-2 hour long fight to go to sleep. she lays in bed and wrings her hand, and plays with her fingers, and hits herself, the bed, and the wall when she feels like she is starting to drift off to sleep. If she sees that nova is resting peacefully she will reach over and pinch or slap her just to get a response. she is TIRED TIRED TIRED, and often her eyes will be closed, and she is almost in dreamyland, but she continues to stimulate herself to stay awake. it is painful!!!) HOWEVER, things are about 85% better around here. I don't know exactly what happened, but I am enjoying my kids again. Juneau is making obvious and conciouss efforts to make good choices, and to be kind to nova. Nova has had a rough couple of days, getting over a virus, and then pink eye, but she seems to be on the mend, and life is starting to become beautiful again around here!!! thank you for all of those who have been thinking about us, and praying for me and the girls during this time. I am a bit hesitant to say it this early....but i think we ar egoing to make it!!!

now....on to the pictures!
I have been soo off the blogging wagon, that i didn't even write about our trip the the hot air balloon festival!! (notice the long sleeved shirts -it is starting to get cool around here!)
Laura had never had on of the true delicacies of childhood - those little wax bottles that are filled with colored sugar water! haha! Juneau had to give her instructions on how to use them :)

Enjoying their little wax bottles together!!

Juneau insisted on having her mouth open for about 90% of the picture we took that day! enjoy the half eaten cheetoh...courtesy of juneau!

The Ballon Glow!

We got a GREAT bag of hand-me-downs from secily last week. Included in the bag was a little nightgown with a matching babydoll night gown. It fit "tiny little baby" (aka TLB) perfectly. And, just for the record, Nova's children have now increased in number. She has Buddy, Jackson, Tiny Little Baby, Sweetie Baby, Sasha, and Keenai.

Not the most photogenic shot of either of them, but for some reason i still just like it :)

The girls are TOTALLY into board games these days. We have accumlated several different preschoolers board games, and we play them almost every day!Nova in her karate outfit!
The girls before church on sunday (thanks for the cute dresses, secily!!!) Juneau is holding her new very very favorite toy (her golden find from our thrift store outings last week). Her horse was originally named "Alice Alaska", but has recently taken the name "spirit" since they watched the disney movie recently.
Not sure why, but Juneau seems to be doing this weird sideways shifty look for a lot of her pictures! haha!
Juneau with "Alice Alaska" aka "spirit"